The Trouble with Lilac
by prissygirl
Summary: Things have never been so interesting in potions class. And why is Snape wearing lilac colored robes? Oneshot


**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or any of his sniveling little friends/enemies/both. (You never know!) If I did own them, I would make Snape wear lilac robes everyday. And then I would die from being poisoned.**

_**The Trouble with Lilac**_

"Miss Granger!"

Hermione looked up from her cauldron. It was him again.

"Yes sir?" she asked in as pleasant a voice as she could muster.

He glared at her under hooded eyelids. Until she had met him she had wondered what the term "hooded" had meant.

"You potion is purple," Snape stated.

Hermione looked down. "Oh, I don't know about that. It looks more like lilac to me."

Several of the seventh year students were now looking at the pair. They knew their fellow classmate was digging herself a hole. A six foot one to be precise.

"The potion you were to brew today," Snape said, as he tried to control his temper, "should be a light red, maybe even a pinkish color. Now tell me Miss Granger," he hissed. "Is purple or lilac, as you call it, in between red or pink?"

"No," Hermione said as she looked him square in the eyes. "But pink really isn't your color."

Before Snape had a chance to respond, Hermione overturned the cauldron and the potion splattered all across the front of the Potions Master.

"You…you…," he sputtered, for once in his life not being able to deduct house points.

He wasn't the only one who was speechless. The whole class was in shock. You didn't spill things of Professor Snape and live to tell…anything. Like Longbottom, who once knocked over a shrinking potion into Snape's lap. Was it merely a coincidence that he died in the final battle against Voldemort? According to school polls, no.

"50...100...200 points," Snape was still having trouble putting together a whole sentence, but at least he wasn't repeating himself anymore.

A sudden yelp from the doorway drew everyone's attention. Hermione Granger was standing there. This wouldn't have been strange, except for the fact that she was still standing dangerously close to Snape at the opposite end of the room as well.

Heads jerked back and forth from one bush-haired Gryffindor to the next.

"Oh my gosh," Ron said, before fainting. It had all been too much.

"Two Grangers!" Malfoy exclaimed. "Isn't it enough to have one know-it-all mud blood, now we have to have two?"

"Silence," the violent Hermione yelled and then it really was silent because Malfoy was blasted into a thousand pieces. Clean up in Classroom 5.

Now Snape had been a deatheater and a spy, so he had seen some really disturbing things. But nothing rivaled this. Except maybe Lucius Malfoy at a karaoke bar after one too many tequilas. Snape could never listen to the Spice Girls after that.

Now the less violent, but just as pissed Hermione was approaching her counterpart.

"Why do you think you are doing?" she spat, reminding Snape of well, himself.

"Exactly what we've always wanted to do," Lilac Hermione answered smugly.

"How…when…why is Snape covered in purple?" Confused Hermione asked.

"It's lilac," Snape retorted, in a rather Jack Sparrow-ish way.

"Prissy, Prissy," Nice Hermione sighed.

"I am not," Snape growled.

Evil Hermione turned to look at Snape with an exasperated look on her face. "I'm Prissy, you nitwit!"

"Allayus!"

Prissy suddenly vanished as quickly as Draco had, only without the messy clean up.

"I think, Miss Granger, you had better explain yourself," Snape said grimly.

The only Hermione left bit her lip. This wasn't going to be pretty.

Later in Dumbledore's office, Snape and Hermione gave their accounts of the ordeal.

"So let me get this straight," Dumbledore said, "a student was killed by Miss Granger's psycho imaginary twin gone…um, aginary?"

"Yes Headmaster. Draco Malfoy was blown…"

"Oh just Draco? That's quite alright then," Dumbledore interrupted. "Severus I do like your robes. A splash of color is quite refreshing. Purple is it?"

"Lilac," Hermione and Snape answered simultaneously.

"Hmm," Dumbledore chuckled. "Interesting."

A few uncomfortable moments passed before the headmaster spoke again.

"And we still don't know how these circumstances came to be?"

"No," Snape said, as he looked at Hermione, "we don't."

"Well then," Dumbledore continued, "I see no reason to keep you both here any longer."

That was all the permission Snape needed. He was out of there like a greasy bat out of the boys locker room. (Well, it can't smell any worse, can it?) The sooner he was wearing all black again the safer it would be for all people in a 10 mile radius.

As Hermione turned to leave, the Headmaster called to her.

"Incidentally Miss Granger, the Book of Creation and Animation should be returned to the restricted section before it's missed."

"Yes sir."


End file.
